I remember searching for this same question maybe three years ago. As someone who enjoys being around other women, I’ve heard this question many times. In most cases, people offer advice, but it doesn’t always work. This is because the person giving you advice may not have experienced what you’ve been through.
Life is an incredibly exciting journey, but it’s not always easy. What’s even funnier is that some people can make it even worse. Sometimes it’s their presence that’s unbearable, and sometimes it’s their absence. Whatever the case, I’m sure there’s been a time when you wanted to forget about someone in your life.
Here are five steps to help you get over someone, no matter how important they are. I know it may be easier to read this, but putting it into practice might not be as simple. And that’s okay—small steps are still progress!
Identify the role of the person
In order to forget someone, you first need to identify the role they played in your life. Were they your crush, ex, friend, best friend, or someone who caused you trauma, like a bully? It’s important to understand your feelings towards that person. Were you scared of them? Did you have feelings for them? Do you despise or hate them?
To make it easier, I suggest you take a piece of paper and write down the person’s name, their relationship to you, and your reasons for wanting to move on from them. Here’s an example:
The person I want to forget: [Jessica] (you can use a fake name and details)
Relationship: friend (or best friend, if applicable)
Emotion: I was happy and liked her as a friend.
Reason to move on: started acting envious and less communication which makes me stressed and drains my energy
Once you’ve written down the person’s name, their relationship to you, and your emotions towards them, you’ve completed one of the most crucial steps in the process: acknowledging the problem.
Don’t try to forget
The distinction between moving on from someone and forgetting them completely is crucial. People often get confused between these two concepts and end up feeling stressed for no reason.
If you are investing time in trying to move on from someone, it means that person definitely had an impact on your life, whether positive or negative. Accept it. It can be difficult when we realize that we didn’t mean as much to someone as they did to us, but that’s okay. We are acknowledging that this person held a space in our life.
The title says not to say you want to forget them, because it’s nearly impossible. What is possible however is reducing their significance.
We remember everyone, although not every detail about them. Do you remember your primary school teacher? I do. I might not remember her features vividly, but I remember her presence. Does it make me happy? No. Sad? Nope. I feel neutral about it, as she has no power over how I feel. She played a very small role in my emotional life. By trying to reduce someone’s significance to virtually nothing, we acknowledge that we will still remember them. But does that mean they are important? Absolutely not!
Count the thorns
Have you ever noticed that when you decide you want to see red cars on the road, you inevitably spot one within a few minutes? It might seem like magic, but it’s simply a shift in your attention. Similarly, try shifting your attention to their flaws.
I read somewhere that nobody is inherently special or better; it’s our affection and feelings for them that make them appear better to us.
Now, if for some reason you want to forget Jessica (haha, you know what I’m talking about), remember their flaws. If you can recall what led you to want to end things, it will be even more beneficial. In other words, focus on the negative aspects, even if they seem like the most beautiful flower in the garden. Remember how they can still hurt you just with their thorns. I repeat, REMEMBER THE DISRESPECT!
Forgive yourself
When you’re trying to move on from someone, it’s crucial to also make peace with yourself. Forgiving yourself is essential, no matter the reason. Whether it’s for loving someone who didn’t deserve you, failing to recognize the toxic behavior of a friend, or simply for making mistakes, forgiving yourself is a vital step.
It’s not easy, but it’s necessary for your own well-being and self-love. Why waste time on self-hatred when you can use that energy for more positive things?
Buy a new heels
It’s important to consider the specific circumstances when thinking about replacing someone in your life. If you’re looking to move on from a romantic partner or a negative person, simply replacing them may not be the best solution. Instead, it’s crucial to invest time in healing and practicing self-love.
When it comes to getting over a crush, it’s okay to develop a new crush, but it’s important to maintain control and know when to draw the line. If you’re seeking a distraction, perhaps admiring a celebrity from afar can help, but it’s important not to become overly fixated.
On the other hand, if you’re trying to forget about a friend, it may be beneficial to seek out new friendships and explore different interests. It’s okay to distance yourself from friends who drain your energy and focus on building healthy, positive relationships.
Never go back
This is the final point and perhaps the most important one. Never, ever go back to that person again, especially if you still see them on a daily basis. It’s okay to miss them and feel like things might be different this time, but no. Remember, rereading a book or rewatching a film won’t change the climax. It’s done.
It will definitely hurt less tomorrow, even less in a month, and probably nothing in a year. So don’t go back unless your life is really boring and you want some stupid drama in it.
Conclusion
Remember this text: “Life will always be unpredictable. Sometimes we meet good people, and other times, oh Jessica!
It’s a necessary life skill to know when to stop and move on. You might have had some fun times, but deciding to let them go shows that the trauma they brought you is much bigger than the fun. One of the most effective ways in the journey of self-love is to surround yourself with the right people; in other words, remove anyone who’s not worth your attention. So goodbye, Jessica!
I truly hope you’ll forget this person soon because, my lady, we have many different things to deal with. Love ya!”
